It appears from information reaching Marlborough News Online that the College is preparing to buy Marlborough’s historic – though burgled – Town Hall.
Someone with close local links to the College – but on condition of continued anonymity – disclosed to us that the independent charity school needs to find more space for games and sports. And with the increasingly inclement weather, indoor space is now at a premium.
The College currently has 10 netball courts, 12 tennis courts, two all-weather astro-pitches for hockey, 11 rugby pitches, 6 grass hockey pitches, 8 cricket squares, 14 (artificial surface) cricket nets, 4 lacrosse pitches, 7 soccer pitches, 2 volley ball courts, a golf driving range, a .22 rifle range, an eight-lane swimming pool, 2 rackets courts, 5 squash courts and 6 fives courts.
Existing indoor facilities include a fencing salle and a climbing wall. There are arrangements with outside facilities for golf, polo and canoeing.
However a pinch point has been revealed as more students abandon French and take up Mandarin (as suggested by the Prime Minister). This has led to a steep rise in the demand for ping-pong.
The authorities, so our source says, think they can squeeze at least eight full-sized or Olympic table tennis tables into the Town Hall.
Our source identified one great advantage of the purchase: there is already a pedestrian crossing linking the south side of the High Street to the Town Hall: “And there are no mediaeval walls in the way.”
He – or was it she? – smiled a trifle wickedly: “And the Town Hall’s prison cells make such an alluring alternative to detention.”
We are unable to be exact enough on the price being paid to the Town Council. But it is expected it will pay for a good few new mayoral chains, CCTV cameras and lunches for councillors.
We can assure our readers that this story is well sauced. A consultation process – with yes/no forms attached to parking tickets bought in the town’s car parks – will run till the end of April. Only a fool would wait too long to give their opinion.